What 6 Common Phrases Should Grandparents Stop Saying to Their Grandkids?

Grandparents have a special role in their grandchildren’s lives, often serving as loving caregivers and mentors. However, certain phrases, though well-meaning, can be unintentionally hurtful or outdated. Words have power, and the language grandparents use can shape how children view themselves and their relationships. If you want to build stronger connections and foster positive communication, here are six common phrases that grandparents should consider avoiding when speaking to their grandkids.

Break the Cycle: 6 Phrases Grandparents Should Avoid Saying to Their Grandchildren

1. “When I was your age, I had it much harder.”

While it’s natural for grandparents to share their own experiences, comparing a child’s struggles to their own past hardships can diminish the child’s feelings. Today’s world comes with its own set of challenges, and invalidating a child’s experience with a comparison often leads to frustration or resentment. Instead, try empathizing with their situation and offering guidance without undermining their feelings.

2. “You’re just like your mother/father.”

Although this may be meant as a compliment or a joke, it can sometimes come across as a negative judgment, especially if the grandchild feels pressured to live up to certain expectations. Children are still developing their identities and can feel uncomfortable being compared to a parent, especially if it’s framed in a way that implies judgment or frustration. Rather than comparing, celebrate their individual personality and achievements.

3. “That’s not how we did it in my day.”

This phrase can make children feel like their modern methods or ideas are wrong or inferior. While it’s great to share wisdom from past generations, it’s important to recognize that things evolve and that children today face different circumstances. Instead of dismissing their ideas, engage with curiosity and offer advice in a way that shows respect for their perspective.

Better Communication: Stop Using These 6 Phrases with Your Grandkids

4. “You’re too young to understand.”

This phrase dismisses a child’s ability to comprehend and engage with complex ideas. Children often surprise adults with their insight and ability to grasp difficult concepts. Instead of shutting down their curiosity, involve them in discussions, explain things in simpler terms, and encourage their questions. This approach fosters their intellectual growth and strengthens the relationship.

5. “You’re spoiled.”

Labeling a child as “spoiled” can be hurtful and may cause them to feel misunderstood or unappreciated. This term often carries a negative connotation, implying entitlement or poor behavior. If a grandparent is concerned about a child’s behavior, it’s more constructive to address specific actions or behaviors rather than labeling them as spoiled. Open discussions about gratitude and boundaries can be more effective than assigning blame.

6. “You should always listen to adults.”

While respect for authority is important, teaching children to question and think critically is equally valuable. Blind obedience without understanding can limit a child’s development of independence and decision-making skills. Encourage your grandchildren to listen to adults but also empower them to express their thoughts, ask questions, and learn how to navigate situations for themselves.

Conclusion

Words matter, and the phrases we use with our grandchildren can shape their self-esteem and worldview. By being mindful of what we say, grandparents can foster open, respectful communication that nurtures healthy, trusting relationships. Instead of relying on outdated phrases, consider engaging with your grandchildren in ways that celebrate their individuality, validate their emotions, and encourage positive growth. After all, fostering strong bonds today can create memories that last a lifetime.